


Peace of Mind

by sc0bagal



Series: Thoughts of a Radiant [1]
Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:54:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24027721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sc0bagal/pseuds/sc0bagal
Summary: Its been 3 weeks since the battle with Odium at Thaylen City, Kaladin has been struggling to cope with what has happened over the past few months. After nightmares force him awake he begins to walk the halls of Urithiru trying not to think about what has happened. He wonders what if anything he could possibly do to make a difference in this war and where his place is. While wondering he stumbles across the infirmary and is taken under the watchful eye the local surgeon.This work explore the issues the Kaladin and Shallan face after Thaylen City. Kaladin struggling to resolve the conflict between his role as a soldier fighting for humanity and his desire to help the Parsmen achieve peace. Shallan struggles with her deteriorating sense of self as her life takes on more secrets.
Relationships: Shallan Davar/Kaladin, Shallan Davar/Kaladin/Adolin Kholin/Renarin Kholin
Series: Thoughts of a Radiant [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733284
Kudos: 11





	Peace of Mind

_ Sah stood eyes agape as the short sword plunged deep into his chest. He gasped as blood spilled from his mouth and chest, sinking to the floor without any further sounds. Noro roughly withdrew the sword but was not quick enough to parry the furious blow from Khen’s axe. She sank the axe into the nape of his neck nearly decapitating him. He fell next to Sah, dead before he hit the floor. Their blood mingled and pooled on the floor. Sah’s bright orange and Noro’s deep red. Their blank eyes forever staring at Kadalin. _

Kaladin awoke screaming. He still felt the heat of battle from the dream and instinctively reached to call Slyblade only to realize he was back in his quarters at Urithiru. As his eyes started adjusting to the darkness, his panic began to subside. He took deep calming breaths that his mother had taught him long ago to help him when he had his moments of panic and uncertainty as a child. After a few minutes of deep breathing, he swung his legs off the side of his bed and got up. Walking over to the wash bin he splashed the chilled water on his face. It helped to chase away the cold sweat as well as the feeling of dread leftover from his dream. Feeling restless and not wanting to revisit Sah’s empty eyes and the feelings of helplessness they brought with them Kaladin got dressed and just started walking the halls of the ancient tower.

“Can’t sleep again?” How could a voice be so melodic and sing-songy but also so concerned? Kaladin flashed a weary smile at Sly to show her that he was ok as she came to hover near his shoulder.

“I’m fine just a little restless, that’s all.” He mumbled deflecting the question. He began wondering the tower headless of where the strata lines on the walls showed he was going. His feet were walking and that was all that mattered.

“It's been 3 weeks since you stopped Odium at Thaylen City. You barely talk to me, sleep, or eat. I hear you…, you know when you wake up screaming and crying.” Sly flew around in front of him suddenly full size. Her dress flowing around her, and her fierce eyes dramatically framed by her glowing floating hair. “You can lie to Dalinar and say that you’re alright, you can tell your friends that you’re fine, you can even lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me! I am your spren, I see and feel your true emotions even when you try not to. Something is wrong, please just tell me.”

Kaladin stopped in his tracks stung by the fierceness of her words. Sly was evolving and growing more complex every day. He wanted to talk to her, talk to someone. But the swirling of emotions mixed inside of him like Sah and Noro’s blood in his dream. He tried to open his mouth to tell her, but nothing came out.

“I can’t talk about it right now, but I promise I will soon please be patient.” He continued his march through the tower to an unknown destination. Sly moved aside to let him pas her face still rapt with concern. “Look at you, becoming all fierce and protective.” She smiled and glowed a little more with his praise.

“Of course, honor spren are the fiercest and most protective of their humans out of all the different spren types.” She touted proudly.

“Ah, so I get two moms instead of one…great…” Kaladin rolled his eyes sarcastically a small smile creasing the corner of his mouth.

“I am not one of your mothers,” Sly said the sarcasm flying over her head. “I am way too old to be your mom, also I only just woke up, and you are human. The human reproduction cycle is just too messy for a spren. We are beings of thought. If I wanted to make a child, I would think it into existence and poof I have a baby, although it appears, I would be taking care of two babies. And also, I didn’t even start thinking about you till very recently, why would I?”

Kaladin let out a genuine laugh at that. Sly smiled in confusion, happy to get a laugh from him but unsure of what provoked it since she only said what was true. Suddenly a man’s head poked out from a door.

“Would you please be quiet we have sick people resting here.” Said a dark-eyed older man with thick white hair in a loud whisper. Kaladin imminently clamped his mouth shut the laughter died on his lips. He recognized the old man as one of Dalinar’s army surgeons. He had made it all the way to the towers infirmary without even realizing it. The old man withdrew his head from the hallway and returned to tending his patients. Without even meaning to Kaladin followed the surgeon into the infirmary hall. He was greeted by the familiar smell of antiseptic and rot. Suddenly his restlessness left him, and he felt calm. The beds were lined against the wall with a narrow pathway between them. The chamber was large but clearly had not been designed as an infirmary. Kaladin wondered if the original Knights Radiant even needed an infirmary since they had their Truthseekers and Edgedancers to heal all their aliments. Why hadn’t Renarin healed these people, he wondered as he strolled down the line of beds. There weren’t a lot of patients in the infirmary for a city the size of Urithiru, but there were still more than he was expecting. He noticed many of the patients were older, but every now and then he saw someone younger.

“Can’t you just let these people rest.” Kaladin turned startled, he hadn’t noticed the intense white-haired surgeon come up behind him.

“I’m sorry I was…” Kaladin realized he’d just wandered in here like a lost child. Sealing himself he suddenly had an idea. “I was wondering if I could help you with your rounds, I have medical training. My name is Kaladin.” He held out his hand in greeting and was shocked when the white-haired doctor slapped his hand away.

“I know who you are Windrunner. I’ve seen you helping the surgeon crews after the battels. You have some skill but not enough to assist me with my duties. That takes more training than just being able to suck in some stormlight.”

Kaladin was taken aback by this surgeon’s bluntness. It had been a while since he had been spoken too in that way. Yes, he knew his training as a surgeon had never been completed but he had always thought his skills were appreciated on the battlefield where the surgeons were overwhelmed by the numbers. Kaladin stood silent for a moment as the old man turned and walked away. He didn’t want to leave though. His restless feet had carried him here because this is where he felt the most useful. He knew if he left, he would just be seeing Sah and Noro’s faces again, and he did not want to do that. After a moment of thought, he caught up with the white-haired doctor.

“Let me shadow you then, please.” Kaladin said pleadingly to the surgeon, “I was never able to finish my apprenticeship as my father wanted. I wanted to, I had decided I was going to go to Kharbranth and study. But…. but so much happened. Please, I want to be better at helping people. Please teach me.”

The white-haired surgeon stood over an older man talking his vitals. Without turning he said. “There’s a wash-bin at the end of the hall, wash your hands and grab a sterile coat from the supply closet next to it and be ready to assist me.” A genuine smile spread across Kaladin face as he ran off to complete the surgeon’s orders


End file.
